The Four Options
by Snily3838
Summary: Severus Snape died, but his story didn't end. He wakes up at a bizarrely white King's Cross Station. But he is not through his suffering yet...he will be "haunted by three spirits" but not the past, present and future sort. He is pitted with some choices, and he might not even be allowed to choose... (Prologue to larger story to come)
1. Chapter 1: Albus Dumbledore

**The Four Options**

 **Chapter 1: Albus Dumbledore**

After imploring Harry in his own cold way to look at him, and as a result, for Lily to look at him one last time, Severus Snape died. His hand, whiter than his face, released Harry's shirt and fell with a dull thud to the dusty wooden floor of the Shrieking Shack, and Severus' eyes went dark all over, yet somehow, had a look of the contentment that his final wish was granted.

Severus was able to die looking into the eyes of the woman he had loved for nearly thirty years. It wasn't the way he wanted to die…he used to dream he would die looking into his wife, Lily Snape's eyes as they lay together in bed at an old age, after living a long, healthy and happy life. But that hope was forever stripped away from him through a mixture of his own anger-induced stupidity, Lily's hypocritical fury and James Bloody Potter's cruelty. Not to mention Severus' gullibility and Lord Voldemort's wrath six years later…the worst day of Severus' life.

But it's over now…he thought to himself.

Wait…how am I thinking? I died! I can't think. I should be burning…why am I not burning? Why is everything so white? It's blinding me!

Severus shielded his eyes and after rubbing them, he tried to open them…Either his eyes had adjusted to the light, or the light itself dimmed enough to not be too bright, but still beautifully white and heavenly.

Severus looked around. He seemed to be in an empty and heavily whitewashed King's Cross Station. He could see only platforms but he could hear agonised groaning.

He saw it came from under a pure white bench. Glimpsing beneath it, he recoiled at the bleeding, babyish, skeletal mound of flesh on the floor, moaning in pain.

Severus could see through the slits for nostrils that somehow, this was the Dark Lord, or at least a part of him.

Severus felt no sympathy whatsoever. This was the man who killed Lily and so many others, not that he gave a damn about the 'others'. It was only Lily he gave a toss about, and he had no intention of allowing anyone, particularly Dumbledore believe he cared for anyone else.

And as if on mental cue-

"Severus?"

Severus spun round and saw Albus Dumbledore, dressed in pale blue, almost white, with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"I regret that you came to be here so soon." said Albus softly. "I did intend for you to be unharmed by Voldemort when you killed me…but the plan went wrong."

"Does it look like I care, Dumbledore?" asked Severus coldly.

He still hadn't forgiven Dumbledore for using him, for wasting his life by holding on to a promise to make up for his role in Lily's death, only to find out that his efforts were in vain.

"I see you're still under the illusion that Harry will die." said Albus, his smile still broad on his face.

"You what?" snapped Severus.

"I couldn't tell you in life, but I have no reason to hide the net result of my plans now, Severus. The only witness is still alive and cannot hear us, besides, his tattered soul is too busy whining in self-inflicted pain to take any notice."

"Go on. I'm listening." mumbled Severus, with reluctant interest.

And so Albus told Severus all about how Voldemort made Horcruxes, and those were the soul fragments that Harry had to go and destroy, as well as being one of them, hence why Voldemort had to kill him.

"If he has to die, because he's a Horcrux, why do you say I'm under the illusion that he will die?" fumed Severus.

"Because," continued Albus, "Harry will only lose the piece of Voldemort's soul once the Killing Curse strikes him. His soul will be his and his alone at that moment and unlike most people who come here, Harry will have an additional choice to the one of moving On. He can choose to go back to Earth as himself and fulfil the prophecy, and finish off Voldemort once and for all."

Severus took a moment of silence to process this information. His sacrifice wasn't in vain, nor was Lily's. He _had_ made a difference after all, he could say that he had made up for his sins as best he could.

"I see you seem to be unsure of things." said Albus.

"Meaning?"

"You don't seem to know what happens to you from here."

"Well, I don't understand where I am." admitted Severus.

"Well, you are in the crossing between the Wizarding World and the life beyond life." explained Albus.

"So why are you still here?" asked Severus.

"I need to explain the final parts of the mission to Harry when he arrives." said Albus. "But I have been On before."

"So you can go back and forth?"

"Not as a rule, but there are special circumstances." said Albus cryptically.

Severus rolled his eyes. He knew this mysterious nature only too well. He would be glad to be rid of it. But then to his surprise, he saw Albus' smile fade and his eyes now looked very sad.

"And now it is time for you to go On." he said.

"Why are you sad?"

"You'll see."

Severus now felt a sense of foreboding. His moving On made Dumbledore sad. But why? At last, he would be able to say how sorry he was to Lily. He could beg her forgiveness. Oh, he had no delusion that she would be happy to see him, nor harbour any feelings for him, nor show forgiveness for his role in her death and how he treated her son in life, but at least he could say…goodbye this time.

"I am…ready. I think." Severus murmured.

A train, also pure white but the exact same shape as the Hogwarts Express appeared with a coach. A compartment door opened.

"On you go, Severus." sighed Albus. "And goodbye. You were always a valuable spy and a close friend."

Not always, thought Snape bitterly. Would a close friend ask another to waste away his life being a spy? Would he threaten him with expulsion if he were to tell anyone he was nearly killed by a savage beast whilst praising his would-be killers? Would he ask him to kill that friend and risk tearing his soul apart like Voldemort? Would he deny him the chance to see Lily again in the Mirror of Erised? Would he fail to protect the woman he surrendered his freedom for?

"Um, goodbye, Albus." he replied and he boarded his train.

Albus watched morosely, as Severus' train pulled away. He knew what was going to happen, but Severus would not know until after he saw someone else first. It was all for the best. Severus would never be happy…but he might be when he accepts his fate…

First chapter done! Two more to go. This is just the prologue to my longer story idea. Hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2: James Potter

**Chapter 2: James Potter**

Severus sat in his seat on the train. He remembered the last time he sat on the Hogwarts Express with despair pounding his mind. He was on his way back home for the last time. He had sat in the compartment alone. He didn't want to sit with the Death Eater friends he had chosen over Lily after she abandoned him after calling her 'Mudblood' and left him with nobody else.

He had drawn the blinds on his door that day, used his wand to cast a Silencing Charm over the door and locked it to the extent that the standard spell, _Alohomora_ wouldn't work, so as that he would not be disturbed by the Marauders or his wannabe Death Eater friends. He had sat alone in that compartment and spent the whole ride home crying his heart and eyes out.

The reason was simple only to him but likely to nobody else.

The night before at the Leaving Feast, as Gryffindor won the House Cup and the seventh years were prepared to leave for good, aside from a graduation ceremony that Severus now knew he could not bring himself to attend, James Potter had risen from his seat just before the Feast ended.

"I have a special announcement to make!" he had said.

Even Severus had looked up when Potter did this. Lily was sat right next to him. Severus knew that she and Potter had started dating. Unbeknown to him, Lily thought James Potter had matured over their sixth year and so agreed to date him as they made Head Boy and Girl together, and Potter promised her that he would not hex anyone again for the fun of it. But behind Lily's back, he and Sirius Black continued their assaults only on Severus, and always when his back was turned so that he could not retaliate and show any signs that they had fought him. Severus believed that Lily was aware of this, but simply didn't care. Why would she? She left him after he hurt her with that foul word…and even after he apologised and didn't dare to bring up the fact that she had called him a name just as hurtful to him in return, the name the Marauders cursed him with…Snivellus.

Looking at Lily now, smiling with such joy and happiness, not to mention blushing, when Potter rose to his feet, Severus knew he didn't like where this was going.

"Last night," said James loudly, "I asked my girlfriend, Lily Evans, to become my wife!"

Everybody whistled and cheered in delight. All except those at the Slytherin table of course, but the most shocked and the least delighted individual was, of course, Severus.

His world became a blurred daze. He didn't even hear James declaring they would be getting married after their Auror training, nor that Sirius would be his best man, nor that Lily chose Mary McDonald to be her maid of honour. All he knew was that in that moment, James Potter had forever taken away any chance and hope he had of ever being happy. He had now lost the love of his life, not just to Potter but to the laws of marriage soon to come. He didn't move for fear that his friends would see his distress but soon after he had locked himself into his room in the Slytherin common room and tried to sleep but to no avail.

But now he was alone and unable to be disturbed in the compartment and he broke into tears for the whole ride home, praying for death. He was and had nothing now. Lily was gone, his mother, Eileen died of sickness after having all of her magic pummelled out of her by his abusive drunk of a father, Tobias, who himself died after breaking his neck after falling down the stairs in a drunken state. They both died within days of each other the previous year.

Severus buried them both in privacy…he never told anyone except his magical solicitors, but was left with no money, just the house, which he was going to claim upon graduation.

He didn't even tell Lily. He didn't think she'd care.

Severus was suddenly snapped out of this memory when he felt the train slow down.

It eventually ground to a halt, outside what looked like…

Surely not!

But it was.

It was a Heaven's version of Godric's Hollow and the train, somehow, without rails had stopped outside the house where James and Lily Potter died.

Severus leapt from the train and onto the ground, when suddenly, he froze and then recoiled and backed away as his train faded from view.

He couldn't. He just couldn't.

He couldn't go into that building. It was the building Lily had set up home with…with her…husband. The man who didn't deserve such a blissful paradise.

The paradise _I_ should have had!

Severus' thoughts ceased abruptly when the front door opened.

Out of it came the one person he wanted to never see again after leaving Hogwarts: James Potter.

James looked no happier to see Severus and he stood before him but at a safe distance, as he knew what was coming…Albus explained.

"Hello." James said awkwardly.

Severus was shocked. He had never heard James speak to him without calling him Snivellus or Snivy or even by his surname. Even more shocking, he didn't speak to him with contempt and mockery. He spoke with an awkward but endearing tone, one of compassion and remorse and worst of all, pity.

That last word flew into Severus' mind and his fists balled up and clenched tightly. He didn't want pity from the man he considered to have ruined his life.

"Go away." he muttered with barely suppressed fury.

"I can't until I've had my say, Severus." said James. He looked even less keen to speak to Severus.

Just then, something happened and Severus looked down. He was glowing. He was also blurring up, as if his body was starting to fade into nothingness.

"What is this?! What have you done to me?!" he shouted.

"Nothing." said James softly. "It's starting."

Before Severus could demand to know what was starting, something clicked into his mind as he felt a pull from within himself…

He didn't know how he suddenly knew what was happening, but nevertheless he knew and he resisted with all his might.

"How. Do. I. Stop. This?" he cried desperately.

"You cannot." explained James. "You can maybe resist once or twice…but they always succumb in the end. Nobody has ever managed to resist their reincarnation process more than two times."

"Reincarnation…"

Severus knew that his soul was being dragged back to Earth…he knew that his soul would be revived as a newborn baby somewhere out there…maybe a French baby girl, or a Bulgarian baby boy or maybe even an owl or a rat. Knowing his luck, he would be resurrected as a rat or a cockroach or something even worse than that.

"No, no! No! NOOOOO!" Severus used his own magical willpower to force his soul into staying put. His first attempt at resistance worked.

But the resistance wore him out. He wanted to sink to the ground as he panted wearily, but he didn't want to show Potter any sign of weakness, and he stood straight again.

"Say your say and get out of my face!" he snapped.

James sighed in defeat. He could see clearly that Severus' hatred for him remained strong and could tell that in spite of that final moment of mercy and compassion on Harry's part, Severus still felt no care for the boy himself, but for the eyes…the eyes of the woman he lost to James.

"Okay…" he said, "…I am sorry that I bullied you. I am sorry that I took Lily away from you by pushing you over the edge that day by the Hogwarts Lake. I'm sorry I married Lily which I now know must have shattered your heart to shreds. And…and I am sorry that I will not be letting you see Lily for the last time before you reincarnate."

"WHAT?!" cried Severus. "YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

"It's for your own good, Severus." James replied with strong solemnity.

"How?" fumed Severus. "How is it for my own good that I don't get to see her? The one thing I have so desperately wanted to do for the last seventeen years!"

James continued but was looking down with shame and deep discomfort.

"Because the Higher Ones of this realm, we call it Heaven, have decided you are one of the Unsavables. An Unsavable is a soul that is beyond help, even in Heaven. Lily and I knew this would be the case for years, before Albus told us…Lily was deeply upset. Seventeen years dead, and just over five years before that, you were estranged…partly because of me and yes, partly because of you and her respectively. That's twenty-two years Lily has waited for you, but she and I have hoped for all these seventeen years in Heaven that you wouldn't come here-"

Before he could comprehend the swift footsteps advancing towards him, James felt the hard, powerful fist smash into his face and he fell to the grass, blood oozing out of his nose.

How this was possible in Heaven, Severus didn't know, but he wasn't complaining.

James rose again and muttered "Episkey." His nose was fixed in an instant and he removed the blood too.

"If you'd let me finish, you might not have punched me!" he said severely.

"I doubt that, you arrogant dick!" replied Severus coldly.

James exhaled to calm himself, then continued.

"We could see everything. Everything that you went through. Before our deaths and after. I was surprised that you never killed in those few years that you were a Death Eater. I was appalled, as was Lily when you helped Imperiuse and tortured victims of Voldemort with the Cruciatus Curse…but you never killed. Not even the Muggle-borns. But why?"

Severus didn't want to admit it. But he found himself doing so.

"I couldn't kill…I didn't want to prove you and Lily entirely correct in your low beliefs of me."

"So…Lily and I are what stopped you from becoming a killer…"

There was silence apart from Severus' confirming tilt of his head.

At last, James went on with his story.

"Anyway, we saw all your suffering. Your reaction to us dating, your reaction to our getting engaged…Lily never realized just how deeply you loved her…and nor did I. She was so upset when she saw how you cried alone in that compartment. But I am ashamed to admit that even if I had known just how much in love with Lily you were, I still would have tried to win her love and take her away from you."

"I knew that." growled Severus.

James pressed on before he earned another assault from Severus, because although he was punched and verbally abused by his love rival, he had no intention of harming Severus. He had caused him enough pain as it is, both physically and mentally.

"Then we saw you overhear that bloody prophecy, but then we saw just how scared and remorseful you were for turning us into targets…and then saw you pledge your loyalty to Albus. The ache I felt when Lily and I saw Harry get sent to the Dursleys and his abuse that followed…and the ache I felt when I saw Lily cry as she watched you grieve…and morph into a bully yourself. And then at last, we saw how you treated our son."

This last sentence was spoken with some of the fierceness that James portrayed to Severus back at Hogwarts. It made Severus recoil.

"We knew why you treated him so badly…I won't go into that. We all know. And you don't need a reminder. But we want to know why you couldn't leave him be for Lily's sake. He was her son too."

Severus stayed silent. He wondered that a lot himself. But he just couldn't let go of the fact that Harry wasn't his. And that was his real reason. He couldn't bare the fact that he and Lily never had the family he had always wanted and could never have. Harry wasn't just a reminder that Lily chose James over him; he was a symbol of the loss of the life Severus wish he could have had, but didn't.

"We always had hope for your future though." said James when he realized Severus wouldn't reply. "We had this fantasy that after the war was over and Harry had defeated Voldemort, we would look down to look into your life again…just one more time, at least ten years after the war had passed…and we would see you with a wife and kids. A family of your own. Maybe a celebrated hero for helping Harry under Albus' rule for all those years. Moneyed, honoured and most important of all, happy with your life at last. And then you would come here for a visit after you eventually died, and you would tell us your story after the war."

Severus found this whole fantasy ridiculous. Didn't Potter understand?

"That fantasy would never have come true even if I had survived, Potter!" he muttered darkly.

"Why not?" asked James.

"Because I have known from the moment we met that I could never have loved any other woman but Lily." explained Severus. "My Patronus only backed up my belief and cemented the knowledge once and for all."

James sighed. This was exactly why Severus was an Unsavable.

"To finish the sentence I was saying before your untimely reaction: Lily and I never wanted you to come here to Heaven to us…yet. We both knew, from the moment we realized just how deep your love and loyalty for Lily was, in that first year we'd been dead, that there was nothing here for you in Heaven except an eternity of heartbreak and pain, watching us live the eternity you have for so long craved together. And Lily never wanted that for her best friend. And believe or not, neither did I. We wanted you to move on from Lily and the promise you pledged for her memory. We wanted you to start over, to find someone who truly loved you…to be happy before dying."

"There never was nor ever will be anything out there on Earth for me, Potter." said Severus coldly, but despairingly. "You took all I ever wanted away from me, in life…and in death."

He started to glow again, and he felt the pull of his soul, yearning to escape the eternal pain. But Severus couldn't. He wouldn't.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

With all his strength, Severus pulled himself back to the reality of Heaven, but this time, he couldn't maintain his stoic posture and he collapsed to his knees on the ground.

James didn't smirk with triumph at Severus heeling before him. He felt deeply sorry for him, and not a little remorseful for his role in his pain.

"This is why you have to go though, Severus." murmured James. "You are right. At this point when you died, you never gave yourself a chance to move on…and now you can never move on…at least as Severus Snape. The Higher Ones are trying to reincarnate you so that you have another chance at life, a happier life, free of the pain you have had since you lost Lily."

"I REFUSE!" bellowed Severus.

James was shocked. "You don't want to have the pain leave you. Don't you see, Severus? If you let yourself be reborn as someone else, someone new, you would forget about Lily, about me, about everything!"

"And you would love that, wouldn't you?" snapped Severus. "I will not abandon Lily, even if she abandoned me! I must say sorry! And you will not stop me!"

He used all the strength he had left to use non-verbal magic to Stun James. And then he staggered to his feet and hobbled ever so slowly to the front door James came out of. He was certain that Lily was inside, not suspecting for a moment that Severus had refused to abandon her, and himself. He was not going to stop being Severus Snape. Never…

He collapsed inside the doorway. He glowed once again. This was the third time…nobody stopped the third…he began to fade…

"No! Lily! LILY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo….!"

 **That's Chapter 2! A bit longer. I hope to finish Chapter 3 tomorrow. Hope you enjoy it!**


	3. Chapter 3: Lily Potter

**Chapter 3: Lily Potter**

"-ooooooo…UGH!"

Severus used up his core to fight back and by some miracle, collapsed to the floor completely, but still intact. He had beaten the third attempt at reincarnation.

"I…won't…go…not now…not after…everything!" he panted wearily.

He could just make out a blurry figure approaching him from within the house rapidly, as well as a very distorted but achingly familiar voice.

He awoke later after an unknown amount of time. He was laying on a settee, red with gold lions on each arm.

Severus would have judged this negatively if he hadn't had just used up all his energy to stay alive, or was it dead?

Then he felt something being gently pushed against his lips. He knew it must be a goblet of some kind, but his vision was very blurry, and so, judging that this was supposed to be Heaven, he sipped the contents without too much hesitation. He recognised it as a Visual Aid Potion, which managed to clear up his vision in his concussed and exhausted state.

As his eyes readjusted, he saw two pale yet rosy hands holding the goblet to his lips. He paled even more than he already could, considering he was dead. He slowly looked up the arms and further and he took into account long, red hair and the most radiant face he ever knew, not to mention the beautiful emerald he fell in love with and died staring into.

"L-lily?!" he stuttered in horror.

"Hello, Sev." she whispered softly.

Severus so desperately wanted to hug her, to kiss her, or even to grovel at her feet for forgiveness, but this first meeting after so long was not what he had expected and he recoiled and backed away to the furthest arm of the sofa.

"Severus, calm down." said Lily simply.

"I-I-…I…!"

Lily kept her distance to help soothe him.

Eventually, he pulled himself together but rose to his feet to maintain a controlled and imperious posture.

"Lily…it has been so long…"

"Yes, twenty-two years, I think." she replied.

Severus noticed that Lily had a rather saddened expression, but couldn't understand why. She hated him. He thought he would have to wrestle Potter down to even get within ten yards of her. And yet here she was feeding him a potion for his health and showing no sign of disdain or disgust at his presence.

Severus had many scenarios in his privatized mind over the years of what he would say to Lily after he had lost her to Voldemort, seemingly forever. But at this moment, now that he was facing her, seeing her and even felt her warmth when she was feeding him the potion, he found that he was practically incapable of speech.

"You defied the reincarnation process three times to see me, Sev." said Lily, with a mixture of impatience and admiration. "Perhaps you'd like to take advantage of your efforts."

Severus noted the impatient tone, and was too scared of her walking away from him forever once again to process her awe. He quickly burst into speech.

"I'm sorry!" He sounded wretched and desperate. "I'm sorry I called you that name! I'm sorry I hung out with those future Death Eaters! I'm sorry I told the Dark Lord about the prophecy! I'm sorry I endangered you! I'm sorry I got you killed! And I'm sorry for how I treated your child!"

He stopped and nearly sank to his knees again, but instead let his head sink, feeling too afraid to face Lily to see her reaction to his apologies.

"I know." she murmured. "I accept it all. You gave up your entire life to make it all up to me. But…I just wish you had been kinder to Harry. He was innocent. He never hurt you like James did."

"He did." Severus couldn't help himself.

"Oh?" Lily crossed her arms and her face went from sympathetic to stony. "And just how did a young boy at the age of eleven who didn't even know who you were hurt you to the extent that you made him a bitter enemy and a bullying victim as he tried to learn Potions? And what about all those others you bullied? Neville, Hermione? Why, Severus Snape?"

"Longbottom could have been the Chosen One…he could have been the one to lose his parents."

"That's just selfish!"

"Granger reminded me too much of you when we were little. I was jealous that she seemed to consider herself better than you!"

"Oh, now that's just childish, Severus!"

"And Potter hurt me…by how he looked."

"What? Because he looked like James. Harry couldn't help that!"

"Not…just that…" murmured Severus. "His eyes…they never had a kind and loving look in them for me, like they had in you. When we first made eye contact, the eyes looked scared and nervous…and ever since then, they were filled with hate. It pained me every single day to look at him. Your eyes were trapped inside the body of my arch-nemesis. And the eyes had the same coldness as the body once had…your eyes were corrupted by Potter and his son…there was nothing of you in the boy. I never loved him, cared for him. I only ever protected him- for you! Because I knew that he was all I had left of you to show you how sorry I was."

Lily sighed. She never wanted this for her best friend, estranged or not. But she also knew one thing for certain now, and she knew that telling this to Severus would most definitely trigger his reincarnation.

"And…there was another reason I couldn't care for or love your son." muttered Severus. He felt he should get everything out.

"What reason was that?" asked Lily.

"He wasn't _mine_!"

Severus' emphatic last word had a broken tone to it. His straight and emotionless demeanour crumbled as he admitted his biggest reason for despising Harry: he was the reminder of the life he had always wanted…and could never have.

"I'm so sorry, Sev." whispered Lily, whom was holding back the tears she knew would be released once she lost her best friend forever.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." mumbled Severus.

"Yes, I do." protested Lily. "I abandoned our friendship. True, it was mostly due to your fascination- no, your obsession with the Dark Arts. But the last straw was you calling me a Mudblood. But in my fury, I called you the same name James and Sirius did, and that must have been equally as hurtful. But I was too wrapped up in my own self-pity and listening to Mary and the others talk about how they and James were right about you being no good…that I didn't give what I had said to you any thought…I didn't even seem to care about the consequences ending our friendship would have. If I had only kept our friendship, you may still have turned out differently. You might have accepted James and I getting together if we had stayed friends."

Severus looked up. He didn't like the sound of that. He might have accepted the relationship between Lily and James?

"Yes, Severus." said Lily.

"Yes, what?"

Lily looked ready to cry at what she was about to admit, but she knew that Severus had to know and deserved to know, even if it broke him completely.

"I have spent a lot of time watching over you and Harry, and every minute of it, James was there by my side. And I don't regret a single moment of our relationship or our marriage. I have learned a few lessons after learning your true loyalties, Sev…but if there is one thing I have learned in these twenty-two years since that day we lost each other, it is that I now know whole-heartedly…"

"What?" Severus didn't sound worried anymore. He knew what was coming and his voice sounded ever so defeated, but he had to hear it come from his love's mouth once and for all.

"I now know that even if you hadn't called me a Mudblood and pushed me to end my friendship with you, I still, due to his maturity over the sixth and seventh year at Hogwarts and his true dedication to the side of good and light…I still would have chosen James over you. I could never love you as I love him…"

Severus looked down once more. It felt like he had been dropped into a bottomless pit. His heart dropped fastest of all and would never stop falling.

"I always knew deep down that this would be the case." he said stoically. "I know you love Potter, and I know we could only ever have been friends. I am willing...I am…I'm…"

But Severus couldn't kid himself anymore. He fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands and his hair. He never gave himself the delusion that Lily would love him over James when he eventually died. But accepting that what he wanted was never to be was not the same as hearing it confirmed from the one woman who _could_ have made his dream a reality. Lily, in that one moment, destroyed everything for Severus. All he sacrificed, all he did to make up for her death seemed totally moot now. He may have protected and in a roundabout way saved her son, but it wasn't enough. He was not at peace. He was not happy, even in Heaven. He had nothing. Only the tears he finally allowed to fall free through his hands following Lily's honest but devastating revelation.

Lily sobbed at last too.

"This is why I was so devastated all this time in Heaven when I watched over you. You hung up that stupid Death Eater mask for me, but you didn't move on, Sev! I know you had to protect Harry and all that as Albus' spy…but what about finding a new life in the ten years of peace, before Harry came to Hogwarts?"

Severus was silent in his tears.

"You could have spent those ten years not just teaching and abusing your students to hide your grief, Severus. You became the bully you despised James for being. And all because you lost me…but why didn't you try and find someone else? You had ten years and you just wasted away in those dungeons teaching the same classes year after year, with nothing to look forward to, and when Harry came, you never looked forward to meeting him. You didn't _live_ , Severus! You could have had so much more! Why? Why didn't you let me go and look for someone else?"

"BECAUSE THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE!" cried Severus in despair. "Your Patronus became mine when you died, Lily! Is that not proof enough that YOU were my soulmate, even if I'm not yours?!"

Severus regretted this outburst immediately and burst into angry tears and would have loved nothing more than to claw his own tongue and eyes out. He should have cut his filthy tongue out the moment he called Lily Mudblood.

Lily cried and hugged her best friend, whom was now permanently broken beyond repair. He was now permanently trapped in the loop of unrequited love. And she felt that Severus was right. If there was somebody else for him, he would have found that person in Heaven, and if she wasn't dead yet, he would have been sent to their personal piece of Heaven to set up home…but instead he was brought to Lily…always Lily…

Lily sobbed. Severus would now have to reincarnate and they would lose each other all over again…truly forever.

Just then, the door opened. Albus was levitating the Stunned James into the room and when he laid him on the sofa, he said "Enervate."

James awoke groggily.

Lily suddenly comprehended the look on Albus' face. His eyes were sparkling with delight and he looked very eager.

"No time to lay around, James. And no time for you two to be huddled on the floor crying. We have to go!"

"Go where?!" asked the two Potters with flabbergasted curiosity.

"We and Severus are to pay a visit to the Higher Ones!"

They all looked at each other in surprise.

"I always knew you were special, Severus." said Albus with a cheeky air. "But I never imagined you'd be so special as to defy the Higher Ones! Come on! Pip pip!"

 **Only one more chapter left of this prologue. Sorry if this was a tad OTT, I have deep personal feelings concerning Severus and Lily and I tend to let my emotions control me in these sorts of scenes. Enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 4: The Higher Ones

**Chapter 4: The Higher Ones**

Before he had a chance to wipe his tear-stained eyes, Severus felt himself being pulled into a very tight tube as he was Apparated on the side by the excited Albus, the curious Lily and the still disorientated James. The feeling of being compressed into a tube was somewhat less uncomfortable because the trip did not entail a lack of air from within the invisible tube. In fact, it felt like Heaven had an endless air supply specifically for Apparition. Severus felt like he had been transported into a giant, moving fan and by the time he and the other three finished their journey, his greasy, black hair looked quite windswept.

When they reached here, Severus looked round.

The clouds seemed to be the surface of what he was standing on. The sun beamed over the whole scale of his surroundings with a perfect blue sky all around. Golden railings stretched across the clouds and sat before the four visitors were about five cloaked…people? Or were they entities? It was hard to tell. Their faces were completely covered up and their cloaks were as white as the clouds.

Albus motioned for Lily and James to back away so Severus, whom was quite taken with the magnificent beings and view around him was oblivious to their leaving him at the centre of attention. And only once the middle cloaked being raised one pale finger and pointed to him did Severus realize he was standing alone.

"You are Professor Severus Tobias Snape?" boomed the pointer.

Severus stuttered, unsure how to treat this potential deity.

"Y-y-yes, sir?" he managed to get out.

He seemed to have the right idea, as the speaker continued without any shift in temper.

"The Potions Master and the double agent under Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, England?"

"Y-yes, s-sir." babbled Severus, starting to sound like a drawling Quirinus Quirrell.

"The killer of the aforementioned Headmaster?"

Severus simply bowed his head in shameful and silent confirmation.

"Yes, he is." piped up Albus.

Severus felt deeply betrayed. Albus seemed to be setting him up for condemnation, even though he only killed him at the old man's request for the Greater Good and in order to salvage the soul of the younger Draco Malfoy.

"I see." continued the middle cloaked figure. "To the business at hand. I have gathered you here, all four of you for a purpose. Albus Dumbledore is our messenger, and has already accomplished his role in this, and has also provided his personal opinion that you, Professor Snape are worthy of the four options, and he has a good idea of which option you will choose."

Severus was close to panicking. He had four options. Options for what? What punishment he would have to endure for eternity, each choice more painful and devastating than the last…?

But then again, he thought, nothing could hurt him more than not being with Lily for eternity. He would take any physical punishment than the ongoing torment he had been through for most of his life…than spending an eternity watching Lily love his rival over him…forever and always…

"Mr and Mrs Potter are here as witnesses and will also be needed to express an opinion on whether Mr Snape is worthy and deserving of the four options we are prepared to offer him." boomed the deity to the original speaker's left. This voice sounded younger.

Severus was puzzled. Why would he need to be worthy or deserving of a punishment?

"I suggest you pay close attention, Mr Snape." said a third voice. "These options are a very, very rare privilege. We haven't met someone able to defy the reincarnation process more than twice since the late days of Merlin, and you are admittedly, a very special case, which suggests Mrs Potter must be very special too."

Lily looked down. She was the cause of all of Severus' pain and she looked imploringly at Albus to communicate what was going on. He simply winked with a small smile, indicating that everything was going to be alright.

"Your first option is to reincarnate, as was previously offered to you thrice." said a fourth voice. "You will be reborn with a new life, a new beginning and a fresh chance to be happy. You will have no memory of ever being Severus Snape and we will offer you some options of who you want to be next."

Severus had no intention of taking up this option. He never, ever wanted to forget Lily and what he did for her. He loved her too much to just forget about her and start over. He'd sooner go to Hell. And he had a funny feeling that Hell was an option.

"Your second option is to stay here in Heaven. Of course, you will be accommodated and will have a paradise…but of course, there will be no Mrs Potter for you…she is already content in Heaven with her soulmate." said a fifth voice.

That deeply hurt Severus. This Higher One or whatever he or she was had the gall to kick him while he was down…emphasising that there was nothing for him in Heaven, not even Lily…and to rub salt in the wound, they had to ensure he knew that James Bloody Potter was Lily's soulmate, not him. But was this really his best option? What could be better than Heaven?

"Your third option is probably the least appealing one." returned the second Higher One. "It is that you can forfeit Heaven…"

Here it comes. The offer of Hell, thought Severus. But anywhere without Lily and her love would be Hell to him, just as Earth had been for so many years.

"…and you can return to Earth as a ghost, not unlike famous ghosts such as the Bloody Baron, the Grey Lady and I believe your students knew him as Nearly Headless Nick. _Your_ time as a ghost would be nearly eternal as you seem to be a lost cause for finding peace, but all ghosts have a different death span…I do believe that poor child, Myrtle will be passing on at last to Heaven in the space of…at least another one hundred years. She seems to have vowed to make passes at all the descendants of one Harry Potter and one Draco Malfoy…but she will give in eventually. In fact, we have arranged for her and her soulmate to join once she passes on, charming Muggle born, albeit killed early on much like herself…that foolish Riddle did have a nasty knack at destroying lives like ants…but I heavily digress."

Severus agreed that being a ghost would be the least appealing option. The thought of having to be chastised and/or praised by Potter and his friends and receive pointless apologies from Minerva McGonagall and the other Hogwarts staff would be unbearable. He didn't want to know what they all thought of him once Potter inevitably opened his unpleasant gob and revealed his deepest secrets after defeating the Dark Lord.

"And here is your final option as you have not spoken a decision yet." said the original Higher One in a conclusive tone. "This is also the option that Mr Dumbledore felt would be the most ideal decision, and he and ourselves want Mr and Mrs Potter's points on this possibility too…"

They all listened intently. The fourth option was believed to be the best choice. Severus doubted it would make any difference. Nothing else did.

"The fourth choice is that you be reincarnated…but as yourself."

"L-like a…second chance?" asked Severus, who did not see this coming at all.

He never thought he would be allowed to go back in time to alter his life. The repercussions would potentially be catastrophic. His misery did after all play a crucial role in Voldemort's downfall.

"There are some conditions to this second chance, of course." replied the Higher One's leader.

"Which are?" piped up Lily. She was definitely interested in this option, but by no means was willing to potentially alter her marriage to James, and if Severus earned a second chance…with her, the marriage she loved would cease to exist.

"That Mr Snape would have no recollection of his former life, at least until we judge him fit to remember, so as he doesn't make the same mistakes he had before." explained the leader. "The second condition will likely put your mind at ease, Mrs Potter. And I'm afraid, Mr Snape, this is the only catch in our offer. You will not be resurrected in your past time and place on Earth. If you accept this offer…you will be reborn in an alternate universe."

Severus didn't like the sound of that at all.

"So…what will be in this alternate universe?"

"Almost everything from the universe you originally hailed from, but of course, with some alternative differences." explained the Leader. "Mrs Potter will be there, though as Miss Evans again…whether or not she becomes Mrs Potter again will be down to you and the alternate Mr Potter."

Severus frowned. "Basically, you're offering to shunt me to some cheap copy of the Earth and couple me up with some doppelganger of the woman I fell in love with."

"Sev-"

"NO! I will not be cast aside and given some fake version of you!" snapped Severus desperately.

"You won't be _given_ another version of me!" shouted Lily.

She felt insulted at the insinuation that she was to be possessed, and Severus recoiled and sank to the floor. He was horrified that he seemed to have learnt nothing in the past twenty-two years. He had hurt the love of his life again…but he was not the love of her life. And he no longer had any option but the fourth. If he was reincarnated, he'd forget her forever, and there was no guarantee he wouldn't repeat a miserable life not worth enduring. If he chose the second option, he would spend eternity in the pains of heartbreak and loss of what might have been. And he had no intent of going back to Harry Potter and his pack of annoying friends, only to be pitied as a ghost until the end of time.

"I…I'm sorry!" he sobbed.

"I know." said Lily calmly. She couldn't stay cross with her best friend for long, not anymore. She had watched him wait for something she knew he was never going to get, even in Heaven, for too long to start bearing grudges on him again. He deserved a better version of her…a version of Lily Evans who loved him. She knew she would lose her best friend again…but she would also be able to watch over him, and hopefully with the guidance of the Higher Ones and Albus, Severus would be happy this time…and she could finally feel contentment for her friend once more.

Severus was deeply hurt. He didn't want to let go of the Lily he fell in love with. He didn't want to say goodbye forever.

Albus saw into his now unguarded mind and spoke.

"You feel too loyal to Lily to leave her for a new Lily, Severus." he said kindly. "That could be seen as true love but it is also a hindrance to the peace you have wanted upon your death and it will only serve to torture you further. Lily loves James, Severus. But we are offering you a chance to win Lily's love in a different world. And if you succeed in winning this Lily's heart, it won't be goodbye forever to the original, not necessarily."

"How so?" asked James worriedly.

"Heaven is not split into alternate versions like places of life are." explained Albus. "Upon death, every individual from every universe will come here to Heaven, the place of full union. I have met a couple of alternate versions of myself. One of them was as straight as Big Ben and had a great fondness for Marilyn Monroe!" he chortled.

Nobody laughed at this, as the situation now took down some tension and pressure.

"I say, as a witness: Do it, Severus!" encouraged James.

"Yes, Sev!" Lily sank to Severus' level on the ground and held both his hands in hers. "It is clear, I think, to both of us by now, that I am not the woman for you! I'm not the woman you _deserve_! I love you so much for protecting Harry, despite what he symbolised to you, and I love that your devotion to me helped save the Wizarding World. But I will not let my mistakes in not forgiving you and breaking your heart so many times dictate your future. I will not let you spend eternity alone and unloved. Not here, not as a ghost, not anywhere or any way! This is your chance, Severus, to get the life you have wanted for so long! Take it, Sev! If not for you, then for me! Let me watch you live this new life to the fullest! Meet the new me, make new friends, fight Voldemort, kick his ass this time round! And when you die again, you and hopefully, the new Lily, can come and see us and we'll reminisce and truly be best friends again!"

Severus looked Lily in the eyes…those perfect, beautiful, green eyes. She used those eyes to watch him suffer over his love for her for all those years…watched him torment her son simply because he wasn't theirs…and endured watching him die after wasting away in a life not worth living. He looked into those eyes…the eyes were filled with love, pity and more painfully, heartbreak. He did that to the eyes he loved. His suffering made his best friend suffer. How could he defy her the chance to feel happy for him again? How could he deny her a relief from the guilt she too had to go through, even after death? The answer: he could not.

"Alright, Lily. I'll go…for you."

He rose to his feet, pulling her up too…and kissed her cheek. In the way she used to do for him: a platonic kiss. The kiss shared between two best friends, nothing more. For now.

Turning to the Higher Ones, he spoke bluntly and decisively, in fear of losing his nerve and changing his mind.

"I elect the fourth option."

Albus, James and Lily smiled delightedly.

"Two things before you go." said the Leader, whom now spoke in a much more friendly and cheerful tone. "One: I believe you will need this for your new journey."

Something appeared in Severus' hand. He looked at it. It was the torn fragment of the photograph he had taken from the House of Black; the piece of the picture with Lily smiling and laughing at Harry as a baby. The picture he had kept as his last memento of the woman he loved.

He didn't question why he would need it. He simply thanked the Higher Ones.

"Two: This woman shall go to the alternate universe with you."

A woman suddenly appeared in pale green robes, looking much less forlorn and weary than she had in life. It was Eileen Prince-Snape, Severus' mother.

"MUM!" cried Severus and he hugged his mother tight, whom cuddled her son like a teddy bear she had lost for years.

"Oh, sweetheart! I'm so sorry and I am so, so proud of you!" she sobbed.

"Are you both ready?" asked the Higher Ones' leader.

"Yes." they answered.

James and Albus gave Severus a final smile; Albus also gave Eileen a knowing wink of encouragement.

Lily gave Severus a final hug to say goodbye.

"Good luck, Sev." she whispered.

"Enjoy your peace, Lils…my love." replied Severus and he held his mother's hand ready for the rebirth.

"Good luck, Eileen and Severus Snape." said the Higher Ones in respectful unison and then the lights of Heaven surrounded the mother and son.

Severus smiled. The lights were full of forgiveness. He knew he might have to wait a long time to remember this day…but he was for now happy with the fact that he had a second chance…that he may get his happy ending yet.

 **(The End!)**

 **Thanks for reading this first story! But this was just an extended prologue! The real story behind this is yet to come! I will call it** ** _Severus' Lily_** **. Look out for it soon!** **?**


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